Time Machine

Sometimes I want to go back in time
Sometimes I wonder who really is in control of my mind
It’s late in the evening and I’m on my bed staring at the ceiling
My brain just hit playback and I can’t stop the feelings
I’m definitely in my feels now
My regrets and past mistakes set the mood
My past is preying on my future,
My future is now good food!
This hunt is keeping me hostage in my own mental prison
And my past is more than ready to devour my future until I’m left with nothing but pessimism and doubt
I’m feeling empty but searching for a way out
I want to get away, from my mind, from myself
I’m looking for a way to put back the ‘mistakes book’ my brain opened back in my mind’s shelf
But the harsh truth is I can’t run away from myself
I’m beating myself for all the times I messed up
For all the times I ran away from my problems and failed to face up
“Maybe I shouldn’t have said that”, “maybe I shouldn’t have done that”
I’m so self-conscious I forgot I need sleep
I need extra heart space for all the baggage I keep
Now I’m having a chat with my insecurities
I’m wishing I had a time machine.