Art of Self Defence (Poem)

Please forgive me!

A part of me wanted to be understood, now I see that I was defensive 

And that, has made me contemplative

I accept full responsibility 

I’ll limp all the way to maturity 

If I have to, I’m deeply sorry

“I’m only human” is not excuse I’ll use

For I know that excuses reduce the blame on me, like I lack the proper life tools

There I go again, I just completed your sentence…for you…just so, I can prove that I’m right

Correction is like the bitter medicine I know I need to get better, right?

It’s clear, I don’t have to be defensive when I’m corrected. 

My anger blinded my judgment 

I let my feelings influence my actions and thoughts

In that moment, I became a powerful judge in my own court

In that moment, I somehow managed to ignore “swift to hear, slow to speak,” I was quick, I was emotionally unstable

My pride connected to my self righteousness and surprisingly I acted as the cable

Silence was a place too far so I quickly ran to my attractive verbal home

I was trying to find solace in this zone

So I opened my mouth…and spoke… the words my feelings wrote

I played the victim

In this blame game system

I acted like a victim during the verbal exchange

The words filled up my heart’s page

I was reading it and now I am paying for it…but I am also expecting some inner change

Metamorphosis indeed! 

Some photosynthesis for my inner man in need

Of soul food

With sunlight from the Son

Please forgive me!

When the Lord’s Spirit convicts a man

He gets a third person view type reflection 

I see myself now, with a different perspective

Learning to be a great listener

Fruits of the Spirit are the destination, I do have a guide and teacher who reveals so much when I search through the scriptures

I pray my ears listen, I pray my heart receives

Please forgive me!

Humility has taken my knees to the floor

Hurting our loved ones with this toxic attitude…must be a product of the fall

The enemy wants me right there

All hell breaks loose when a man feeds his ego

Lord please keep me from planting bitterness inside my heart

If I do, I won’t have any room for love

I smell regret, I need repentance, confession and your assistance Jesus!

Teach me to listen, I’m eager to learn to be silent and unlearn this art of self defence.

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